How To Take Care Of a Newborn Baby

Tips For Nursing

Babies eat constantly. Although nature has done an excellent job of equipping you and your baby, the first few months are almost always more difficult than you anticipated. Nursing can be difficult, from sore nipples to difficult latch-ons.

Women who seek help have a better chance of success. Stacey Brosnan, a lactation consultant in New York City, advises, “Think of ways to ensure success before you even give birth.” Talk to friends who have had positive nursing experiences, ask Baby’s pediatrician for the number of a lactation consultant, or attend a La Leche League (nursing support group) meeting (see laleche.org to find one).

Make use of hospital resources. “I learned everything I could about breastfeeding before I left the hospital,” says Kira Sexton, a mother from Brooklyn, New York. Inquire whether there is a nursing class or a lactation consultant on staff. When you’re ready to feed the baby, press the nurse-call button and ask a nurse to spot you and offer advice.

Prepare. When the baby cries for you at home, you’ll want to drop everything to feed her. However, Heather O’Donnell, a mother in New York City, advises prioritizing self-care. “Go get yourself a glass of water and a book or magazine to read.” And, because breastfeeding can be time-consuming, she advises, “pee first!”

If your breasts are engorged or you have blocked ducts, try a warm compress. A heating pad or a warm, wet washcloth will suffice, but a flax pillow (often sold alongside natural beauty products) is preferable. “Heat it in the microwave and shape it to your breast,” says Brooklyn mom Laura Kriska.

Although heat promotes milk flow, if your breasts are sore after nursing, try a cold pack. “A bag of frozen peas worked really well for me,” says Amy Hooker, a San Diego mom.

If you want Baby to drink from a bottle eventually, introduce it after breastfeeding has been established but before the 3-month mark. Many experts recommend 6 to 8 weeks, but “we started each of our kids on one bottle a day at 3 weeks,” says Maria , a Pendleton, Indiana mother.

Sleeping

If your baby isn’t eating, he’s most likely sleeping. Newborns can sleep up to 16 hours per day, but only in short bursts. As a result, you’ll be more alert and exhausted than you ever imagined possible. Even the best of us can develop a resentment for the severe sleep deprivation.

Stop obsessing over tiredness. Right now, there is only one goal: to care for your baby. “You’re not going to get a full night’s sleep,” says Vicki Lansky, author of Getting Your Child to Sleep…and Back to Sleep. “It’s easier to be tired.”

Take turns. It’s Mom’s turn to rock the cranky baby one night, Dad’s turn the next. Amy Reichardt and her husband, Richard, who have parents in Denver, devised a system for weekends when Richard was off work. “I’d be up all night with the baby but get to sleep in. Richard took care of everything in the morning and then napped later.”

“Sleep when your baby sleeps,” as the old adage goes, is the best advice. “Take naps together and go to bed early,” advises Sarah Clark, a Washington, D.C.-based mother.

What if your baby has difficulty sleeping? Do whatever is necessary: Allow your newborn to fall asleep on your chest or in the car seat by nursing or rocking him or her to sleep. “Don’t be concerned about bad habits just yet. It’s all about survival—your survival! “says Jean Farnham, a mother from Los Angeles.

Soothing

During the first few weeks, it can be difficult to figure out exactly what Baby wants. Of course, you’ll learn by trial and error.

“The key to calming fussy babies is to imitate the womb. Allowing babies to suck and holding them on their sides, as well as swaddling, shushing, and swinging, may all trigger a calming reflex “Harvey Karp, MD, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block books, videos, and DVDs, says

Play some music. Forget the dubious theory that music makes a baby smarter; instead, focus on the fact that it will most likely calm him. Kim Rich, a mother from Anchorage, Alaska, says, “The Baby Einstein tapes saved us.”

Warm everything up. Alexandra Komisaruk, a mother from Los Angeles, discovered that diaper changes resulted in a meltdown. “I made warm wipes with paper towels and a pumpable thermos filled with warm water,” she explains. For a sensitive baby, you can also purchase an electric wipe warmer.

Other tricks will be required as well. “Doing deep knee bends and lunges while holding my daughter calmed her down,” says Brooklyn, New York mom Emily Earle. “The plus side was that I got my legs back in shape!”

Soak to relax. If all else fails and Baby’s umbilical cord stub has fallen off, try soaking together in a warm bath. “You’ll relax as well, and a relaxed mommy can calm a baby,” says Boston mom Emily Franklin.

Getting Partners Involved

If you are raising your child in a two-parent household, it is critical to share the mental load and give both partners the opportunity to learn what is required to help your baby thrive.

Allow them to be. Many first-time fathers are hesitant to get involved for fear of doing something wrong and incurring Mom’s wrath. “Moms must allow their husbands to make mistakes without criticizing them,” says Armin Brott, author of The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year of Parenthood (Abbeville Press).

Take time off from work after all of your relatives have left. If partners are unable to take parental leave through their jobs, see if they can use vacation or sick days. Thad Calabrese of Brooklyn, New York, did just that. “I had more to do, and I got some alone time with my son.”

Divide and conquer. Mark DiStefano, a father from Los Angeles, took over the housework and grocery shopping. “I also took Ben for a walk each afternoon so my wife could have some alone time.”

Partners, too, want to have some fun. “I used to take off my shirt and put the baby on my chest while we napped,” recalls Bob Vonnegut, a father from Islamorada, Florida. “I adored the rhythm of our hearts beating in unison.”

Staying Sane

No matter how excited you are to be a parent, the constant care that an infant requires can be exhausting. Reduce your expectations and take short breaks to better care for yourself.

First, disregard any unwanted or perplexing advice. “In the end, you’re the parents, so you make the best decision,” says Julie Balis, a mother from Frankfort, Illinois.

“For the first couple of months, forget about housework,” says Alison Mackonochie, author of 100 Tips for a Happy Baby. “Focus on getting to know your baby. If anyone complains about the dust or the unwashed dishes, smile and hand them a duster or dish detergent!”

Accept assistance from anyone who is nice — or naive — enough to offer it. “If a neighbor offers to hold the baby while you shower, say yes!” advises Jeanne Anzalone, a mother from Croton-on-Hudson, New York.

Have a lot of people who want to help but aren’t sure how? “Don’t be afraid to tell people exactly what you need,” says Brooklyn mom Abby Moskowitz. It’ll be one of the few times in your life when you can order everyone around!

However, do not delegate minor tasks to others. “A diaper change takes two minutes. You’ll need help with time-consuming tasks like cooking, sweeping floors, and purchasing diapers “Catherine Park, a Cleveland mother, agrees.

Reconnect. “Get outside on your own, even for five minutes,” says Jacqueline Kelly, a mom in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, to avoid feeling disconnected from the world.

Out and About with Baby

Enlist help. Make your first trip to a large, public place with a seasoned parent. “Having my sister there to support me kept me from becoming flustered the first time I went shopping with my newborn,” says Suzanne Zook, a Denver mom.

If you’re on your own, Christin Gauss, a mom in Fishers, Indiana, recommends “sticking to places likely to welcome a baby, such as story hour at a library or bookstore.”

“Keep your diaper bag packed,” advises Fran Bowen, a Brooklyn mother. Nothing is worse than finally getting the baby ready only to discover that you aren’t.

Keep a spare on hand. Holland Brown, a mom from Long Beach, California, keeps a change of adult clothes in her diaper bag at all times. “You don’t want to be stuck with an adorable baby but mustard-colored poop all over you.”

Finally, accept the chaos. “Keep your plans simple and be ready to abandon them at any time,” advises Margi Weeks, a mother from Tarrytown, New York.

If nothing else, remember that everyone gets through, and you will as well. Soon, you’ll be rewarded with your baby’s first smile, which will help make up for all of the chaos.